Beware of the Block Party

When I was in college, we had a Block Class. A series of classes that I more or less shared the same classmates with during that quarter. I remember having these big study sessions, learning vignettes, and all sorts of Happy Hours, when we would always go eat chicken wings uptown on Thursday. At the end of the semester, we had a Block Party. After the fair, we all gathered together, pitched in, and celebrated the fact that in a few more weeks, or months, we would be "REAL TEACHERS." That was my first real BLOCK PARTY.

Fast forward about 10 years. I taught on a block schedule in Florida for a while, (90 minute classes) and now I have Block classes in Texas (100. I guess it's safe to say I was raised on the Block. I hail from the Block. I grew up on the Block. I am the product of the Block. Now, none of these are literally true for me, and the majority of these are falsehoods for my students as well. But, they listen to music that glorifies a different “Block”. Is that my point? Nope. My point is completely unrelated to this. But let me just tell you a little something about the conversations that take place in my Block Class. Mind you. I have these boys for 55 minutes first. Then they get a 5 minutes break (if their behavior as a class has been acceptable), then they return for another 50 minutes of class. But in the midst of that 5 minutes of freedom they are allowed to be on their electronic devices, text, or generally talk freely, permitted that their language is clean. (That is actually ALOT harder than it sounds.)

So, my issue is, that these boys are not always in touch with reality. They recently had a conversation about wanting to marry a porn star/stripper. So I was in the hallway and yet I can hear a few of them murmuring about "Yeah bro, she sexy... she got a phat @$$..." etc etc etc. Of course they don’t remember that I told them DAY ONE. I have glasses, meaning my eye sight isn't perfect, but my HEARING is STELLAR. I hear everything. There are consequences for bad behavior, bad language, and inappropriate remarks. They hate them. I don't necessarily enjoy them either, but respect of yourself and others ESPECIALLY WOMEN, is a must.

******2 things before I even tell the REAL story. A. My coworker (male) and I had this random conversation the other day saying that our students don't have a real basis of what is appropriate or inappropriate. They seriously, just open their mouths and allow words to spill out, regardless of how inappropriate, how vulgar, how profane. NO FILTER.... And I'm not talking about some Instagram feature. This is real. They just TALK. My favorite rapper calls it VERBAL VOMIT. I call it Diarrhea of the Jaw. They just can’t keep anything in. (Don't use my phrase... 10 cents if you do) They just literally say whatever... then think afterwards. B. Just to prove this, two girls (not my students, but they come to my tutorials at least twice a week) came down the other day for tutoring after school. I asked where they were coming from and they both opened their mouth and said the teacher's name. I asked why, and they both opened their mouth at the same time again and spewed out 2 grotesque responses at the same time. Response A: "Because she is bitchy and on her period." Response B: "She hates her life because she never gets laid." I stood their shocked.... and then they had to return to their teacher and apologize... THEN, pay the price. And yes, I called to make sure they went back to her and apologized, and that they said EXACTLY what they were sorry for saying. (pay the price = either a referral for profanity or 50 pushups...for the first infraction. And I made them go and apologize to their teacher, who didn't know they spoke foul words against them. Their remorseful faces indicated that they got the point.) So there is a certain level of decorum and expectation if you step foot into my classroom. And yup. I made them do the pushups. BELIEVE THAT.******* End Mini Story….

Before I even start with the story, let me say this is what started this conversation. One of my students came in one day and said, "Mr. Ham, I got in a argument with my brother yesterday." So I of course ask why. And he said because he was watching porn, and my lil nephew was in the room with him. So I cursed him out, and we just started fighting." So he said he took his nephew out of the room, and had an exchange of words with his brother. I told him he made a good decision by removing his nephew from the room, but he may not have handled the rest the best way possible. Well other students who overheard were more curious about who was on the video and what the heck was "going on." For some reason they thought this was a segway to initiate in a conversation of this nature in class, but ya'll know I can't have that... ever. But I swear, it opened Pandora’s box. It’s an all boys class of ages 14-16. Their focus isn’t always on “math.” Fast Forward about 6 weeks..... Let me tell you what I heard, and then how I took control of a conversation, that in the end, may have provided some guidance for my "All Boys All-Star" Class. In between classes I was helping a student open a locker in the hallway, and a students started this conversation about wanting to marry an "adult star." So in the 5 minutes I was in the halls policing students to class, put their IDs on, and lower their voices in the hallway, they compiled a list of famous stars they would consider marrying. So when the bell rings, I'm ready to start class, but they want to keep with their conversation going. I honestly can’t entertain that foolishness in my class. So I asked, at such a young age, why in the world would you want to marry someone so old, and for lack of better terminology “experienced.” Plus how can you possibly justify that to your parents, or friends? So the first person they mention raised a lot of concern. Apparently, her name is Pinky. But, the concern was that she supposedly has HIV. But a student adamantly said, she posted her STD Test ONLINE with the results to show that she is NOT HIV positive. (The picture that the student showed, showed a clinic sheet, and it appeared she like scribbled her name in with a pencil.) Sketchy. I still had a couple kids that said it didn’t matter. She had a body. So to turn the conversation, “I ask is beauty everything?” Ummmmm, yeah…. I got some very narrow-minded 15-year old responses. Summarizing their responses, yes…. They all feel they deserve to marry a DIME. Regardless if they are Now, my next question was, what do you bring to the table? Are you polite, courteous, considerate? Are you smart, motivated, driven? EVEN BETTER….. are you respectful to your own MAMA!!!! That’s the one that most of them SHUT UP on. Game. Set. Match. I tell all the young ladies in my class, to watch how your boyfriend speaks to his mother, or grandmother, or whoever the “lady” in the house is. Or are you mean, disrespectful, and manipulative? Or are you just looking for a pretty girl on your arm? Are you trying to “use” a girl? Do you really want to date her? Are you interested in her ambitions? Dreams? My favorite question is she passing all of her classes? Nope (I realized that some cases of high school dating are just basically hanging out, but in rare cases, these turn pretty serious, and lets be honest, my FAVORITE student last year got pregnant by an underachieving student…. Not ok.). One of them said, “I be laying my game down heavy Mr. Ham, once she is with me, she ain’t gonna go anywhere.” I beg to differ. Intelligence will attract stronger, than a terrible amount of swag. This also came from a student who is in his 2nd year of high school, and has ZERO credits. So I told them. If this is a competition to get the cutest girl, are you willing to sacrifice intelligence for cuteness? So, they had to tell me if they would rather have an airheaded (no disrespect ladies) “10” or an intelligent “8.” Only 1 of my 16 boys chose the Intelligent 8…SMH. Now I said “down the road the intelligent 8 can make her own money, and has her own career, but the 10 only spends the hard-earned money you make as an athlete (because sadly, that majority [10 of them] of my students in that class STILL aspire to place in the NFL, or NBA, although only 2 of them actually play on our high school freshman team, and they don’t practice “outside” of school practice time. STILL, only 1 opted for the Intelligent 8. I said something along the lines of how would you feel about introducing a young lady to your mother if she wasn’t intelligent. And some of these boys STILL thought their Mama’s would be ok with it. I think they actually thought there was a way to HIDE the fact she was not smart. “What if your mom asked her what 4+ 4 was, and she shrugged her shoulders and gave you an excuse like “I didn’t pay attention in math class.” Does that strike you as unacceptable??? Or if you asked “What’s 4 +4? “ And she said “JELL-O” and then laughed like it would be cute. Stupidity is not cute. Really, can you justify dating someone with very little intelligence, or who every time she speaks, you are afraid she may embarrass herself or you. “Because gentlemen I hear you converse everyday… we still have a lot of work and GROWTH to do.” Some of them are clearly misguided. I’m telling you…. Every day I am trying to give them tools to help them better themselves. Aside from the money aspect of math, they don’t have a lot of interest. They do have interest in making a lot of money, they just aren’t sure about how to do that. They don’t want to put in the work. They don’t want to till the ground, plant the seeds, and continue to work at it. They would like to pluck all the ripe fruit from, the tree though. So, I am not shocked that of the 16 in my class, only 1 has a girlfriend. He happens to have the highest grade in my class. I mentioned that, and said…. Hmmmm, maybe his intelligence was a pretty attractive quality. Because he doesn’t wear Jordan’s or expensive Polo shirts. He just gets dressed and makes sure that he is prepared for class every day. He rarely uses profanity, because he knows it is inappropriate in the presence of adults. But he studies with his girlfriend. Now while the other classmates laughed at that, he shrugged and asked about ways to increase the amount of money in his savings account. He did say something profound. His mom, and his girlfriend's mother ALLOW them to study together as long as they keep their grades up! Imagine that... Parental Permission. And I spoke with his mother at Open House. The only 3 parents I met at open house… their kids are passing my class. But that’s a different conversation for a different day. What I will tell you is this. Many of them stepped foot into my class lacking some skills, and we (I say we because this is like a SCHOOL-WIDE initiative to try and prepare our kids as best as possible) are slowly getting them to where they need to be. So yeah…. Beware of the Block Party. They are a HOT MESS. Exactly the reason, I was "blessed" with them everyday. Yup... Prayers are welcomed!!! Lemme be honest. PRAYERS ARE NEEDED!!!!