Student Story #2 for the year

If you have a daughter or grand-daughter who watches Dora.... you may enjoy this!!

I have a student who everyday asks to borrow a pencil. And typically, I say: Yes, as long as I get it back. And I do. But the key is they have to ask. If they just take a pencil without asking, then I have a problem like that.

So today, as were were preparing for our quiz, this particular student approached my desk, he reached for a pencil, (not asking first) I stopped him dead in his tracks. This is what I said:


Swiper No Swiping! Swiper no Swiping!! SWIPER NO SWIPING!!!

So at that point, I informed him since I said SWIPER NO SWIPING, he couldn't take my pencil. He didn't get it. About half a dozen girls did though..... they thought it was hilarious.

I told him he had to snap his fingers and say "Awwww Man" because I told him No Swiping 3 times before he grabbed the pencil.

He looked so confused as he walked away from my desk looking for a pencil.

HAM WINS!!

Student Story #1 for the year

So, I have this student. Let's call him A.M.....(because that's his name)
So long story short...... I was playing a Jay-Z & John Legend song in class. "Do You Wanna Ride" from the Kingdom Come album. So anyways, the artwork pulls up, and it basically has a picture of Jay-Z.

A.M. looks at my computer and sees the pic of Jay and says the following:

A.M.: Hey, Mr. Ham... don't you just love his lips?
Me: What?
A.M.: His lips.....you know...they are big. They're awesome!
Me: Dude, did you really just say that to me?
A.M.: Yes, you can't tell me when you see his lips, you just wanna bite them off! They look delicious!!
Me: Look, Imma need you to step away from my desk.
A.M.: No homo Mr. Ham.....No Homo.
Me: No comment. Just because you say it....doesn't change what you just said. Real Talk.

The Place we call the G-Y-M

Ok..... Let me first start off by saying I enjoy going and working out at the gym. I am always amazed by a few things:

1. The lady that has been committed to going for months now, and looks completely different now that she has lost a significant amount of work.

2. The group of high school football players who are reliving moments from JV & Varsity games. They are all circled around the bench closest to to the mirror, but they are necessarily working out. They are just practicing their huddle!

3. The cutoff jeans guy..... (shout to Julie Kastler, follow my blog girl....you'll get mentioned alot, haha. I know people say it's a recession, but lets head to Marshall's or TJ MAXX and spring for a pair.

4. SPANDEX MAN...... no comment needed.

I love it. I love putting on my IPOD to my "Gorilla" playlist and grinding.

I do get thoroughly impressed at the amount of flexing that goes on after 1 set of an exercise. Seriously?? What workout regiment is that? In my best Riley Freeman voice, I think to myself, "What part of the game is that "Granddad? Game recognize game.....and you're looking real unfamiliar"

All I know is I am going to get my workout in regardless. I set my goal weight and my Goal Date.....so here we go....

Here's my tribute to fitness trainers worldwide. haha.

J-J-J-J-Jillian


Richard


Tony Little


Terry Crews

End of the School Year

Another Year has come and Gone.....
It's about time!!I had some fun. I had a lot of immature students this year..... and I probably did more for them then I should have, from a merit stance.... but its ok.

I figured I would share a couple of the funny things that happened toward the end of the year. And speak on a couple special kids. WELCOME TO MY LIFE......


1. Malyssa, my TA

Malyssa and I are a horrible team.... She knew that as my TA she would be able to help me out. Maybe just by laughing at the foolishness that goes on in a "upper level class," or by preventing me from really going off on a few students who I feel deserve it at time. I think it was good for the both of us. She got to do a lot of work, and I got an opportunity to assist her in completing work for her classes and my class tooing. And that at least gave me ONE mature student I got to see on a daily basis. She encountered a few rough patches throughout the 2nd semester, and I was able to help see her through. I was also her French Vanilla Cappuccino supplier at 7am on Monday and Friday (when she actually made it to class).

Have fun in Malta buddy!!


2. Sherry!!!! Was another TA of mine. She was just as much a handful as Malyssa. But its ok. She's a fun kid with a Bosnian background so she had a lot to share about culture. She was soooo excited to graduate that she didn't know what to do with herself. Together we sat down and started mapping out a plan for the future. A list of priorities if you will..... So far she is well on her way.
*She got a job like she said she would.
*She finished high school and got that diploma (Thank you Jesus), like she said she would.
*Enrolled in classes for the fall in college.
Congrats to ya punk!!!


Look at what this punk did to my truck and the end of the year.....

She also wrote SHOCKER on the back and drew a huge FLOWER (not pictured)....she's a weirdo

Seriously, on a QUIZ???

10 Question Quiz.

I gave students a quiz over 3 mathematical formulas.

1. The distance Formula

2. The Midpoint Formula

3. the Pythagorean Theorem.


I gave them the formulas for each. It was a 20 point quiz, and each question was worth 2 points. Look at what one of my students wrote for one of his answers......




Way to go D.... 19-3-18-15-16-16-15-

Orchestra???

A student asked me today that would I ever get so mad as to hit him.....
My response: No.
Him: Really? I figured you'd just drop me, especially if I hit you first.
Me: Bro....if it really got THAT real.....I'd be at yo neck "like a violin" (Weezy, I know)
Had to Power Check him REAL QUICK.
But really, I couldn't take out a student....that would be "uncivilized"

Of course I wouldn't hit a student..... ;)

Stop Skipping School

It's Teacher Apprciation Week!!!

Last Friday, I wrote a student up the other day for skipping my class. So today (Tuesday) she was mad today because she had to serve a detention after school for an hour. Well she came into class, all huffy and puffy..... mumbling under her breath about how "Mr. Ham trippin, he didnt have to write that referral....etc. etc. So of course I asked, "Is there something you would like to share with me or the class?

Her response was: Yup, just thought I would let you know I HATE YOU.

So me, in a typical me fashion, I said, HATE is a pretty strong word, you sure you just "Strongly DISLIKE me", or Despise me with a passion, or perhaps Have anger towards me with the fire of 1,000 suns?

She paused, and then said, nope, its definitely HATE.

So I said "on a scale of 1-10 how much do you hate me?" She said 12.

My response: "Shows how much you've learned in my class.... 12 isn't even between 1 and 10. Conclusion: Stop skipping my MATH CLASS."

Shout out to S.S. THANKS FOR THE BLOG FOOD